I Am Racist

I am a white woman who grew up in a thoroughly, unconscionably white supremacist country. I cannot help but be racist.

Do I like this fact? No I do not. Do I have the right to deny what is true just because I don’t like that truth? No I do not.

What do I have the right to do? God, so much. Here is a list to begin with.

My worry is that so many white people get snagged on the very first step of anti-racism work, which is simply to admit the truth: “Yes, I am racist.”

Not because I want to be racist. Not because I’m trying to be racist. Simply because I have been well trained to unconsciously endorse systems that abuse people of color while lifting me up. And to behave out of the ignorance that is necessary to promote my privilege.

So when someone accuses me of being racist, I have no choice but to say, “You’re right.”

And then I can say,

“And I hate it.”

The work white people need to do can begin when we drop the defensiveness — which amounts to denial of the truth, to perpetuation of the very accusation we need to take responsibility for — and begin listening, hearing, and doing. Mobilizing our privilege to change the world. To dismantle the laws and structures and beliefs that make us racists in the first place.

But we white people have got to start with ourselves.

This week’s mantra (if you’re white): I am racist. And I hate it. What am I willing to do about it today?