On Selfishness

“You’re so selfish.”

What does that even mean?

That you’re thinking about yourself?

That you’re putting yourself first?

That you’re considering and satisfying your own needs?

That you’re caring for yourself?

That you’re valuing yourself?

That, at this moment, you’re not concerning yourself with me?

There are times when these behaviors are good and healthy. Because we need to take care of our selves. It seems to me that these times of self-care, of self-regard, of self-valuing, are indeed “selfish.” In a good way.

Emphasis on “self.”

(What’s with the “ish”?)

Then there are times when these behaviors are not healthy. Like when they rest on entitlement or self-destruction or mis-use of others. When, in the relational economy, they thoughtlessly waste precious resources. Can we call these times “usurious”?

Can’t we come up with better words?

Mantra: Be precise.