The Lover and the Beloved

What do François de la Rochefoucauld, the 17th century French philosopher, and Winston Churchill, the remarkable British statesman, have in common?

As far as I can tell,

just me.

(Though they were both pretty good at pithy aphorisms.)

I recently came across a reference to La Rochefoucauld on p. 261 of the second volume of a massive biography of Winston Churchill, The Last Lion, that I’m reading. On that page, the author, William Manchester, describes an affair that Churchill’s wife, Clementine, had on a cruise with a man named Terence Philip. Manchester wrote,

In any affair, La Rochefoucauld observed, one partner is the lover and the other the beloved. Philip was the beloved.

Ouch!

OK, well, that was sad.

But what does it have to do with teachers and teaching?

Only this:

In any classroom, the teacher is the lover and the students are the beloved.

I couldn’t find La Rochefoucauld’s own words about lovers and beloveds, but I’m pretty sure, given what Manchester wrote, that he was talking about romantic love. I’m not. I’m talking about the love of a parent for a child, of a developmental partner for a precious being that needs support and nourishment to grow.

I’m talking about love whose core is unwavering care, whose expression is curious, tolerant, demanding attentiveness, and whose outcome is healthy lasting learning.

And I’m thinking of all you teachers out there who are starting a new academic year and new significant relationships with students who need you to devote yourself to their growth. Who need to be your beloved.

I wish you luck. And may you also be loved caringly, attentively, and supportively as you do this unutterably important job.