Hard Problem

I know. You’re wondering

which hard problem?

Of all the hard problems anyone could possibly write about, which one is this post about?

The hard problem.

The hard problem of consciousness.

Weren’t expecting that one, were you?

For philosophers, the hard problem of consciousness boils down to this question: How is our experience, our consciousness, explicable in biological terms? That is, how is our consciousness connected to our bodies, our physical substrate?

This is such a cool hard problem! I invite you to contemplate it as you’re making dinner tonight.

But it’s not the version of the hard problem I’m thinking about these days.

These days, my hard problem with consciousness is

surviving it.

Because what is filling my consciousness these days is anxiety. About COVID. About the Presidential election. About teachers, students, and parents. About police brutality. About wildfires. About climate change. About the future of our democracy.

About domestic violence. About racism. About toxic masculinity. About psychopathic narcissism.

All this anxiety,

and I am one of the luckiest people I know.

I am not food insecure. I am not financially unstable. I am not a target of racism. I am not living in a COVID hot spot. I am not in danger of losing my home or my car or my marriage or my children or my job or my life.

Yet I still have a hard time getting out of bed every morning!

My approach to surviving my consciousness?

I go organismic.

(Careful, now. There’s an important “n” in there.)

I remind myself that I am a mere organism. Like the trees. Like my wonderful dog. Like the bunny rabbits that eat our basil plants. Like the basil plants.

When I go organismic, my consciousness is a powerful wave that passes through me. I watch it, marvel at it, feel grateful for it as an amazing gift (and curse) of being human, and let it go.

It’s so zen!

And I have to do it every second of every day.

That’s my hard problem of consciousness right now.

Fortunately, as a (conscious) human being, I can also choose where to put my attention at any given moment. On my clients. On my workshop plan. On my husband or daughter or son. On my dog. On my blog. On my breath.

And I can remember that, as an amazing organism that is doing its job, working away at staying alive and healthy, the best I can do is show up. And just be.

This week’s mantra?: I am enough.