Corrective Action
I am a big fan of relationships.
Relationships are
powerful engines.
They are the means by which each of us grows and develops into who we are.
It’s kinda weird to think of relationships this way because they’re so invisible to us. I mean, where are they? Where’s their force? What does their power look like?
In addition to being the delivery systems for love, kindness, caring, attending, listening — essential nutrients for human life — relationships are the most effective means by which we can
change each other.
Correct each other.
Yes, corrective action includes correcting errors. “Between you and me, not between you and I” is an example I encourage people to keep in mind at all times. Correcting errors is a lot of what teachers do with their students, of course.
But correcting errors is not what I’m talking about here.
The corrective action I’m talking about is what a person does in a relationship to offer corrective emotional experience. Corrective emotional experience is what helps a person change maladaptive behaviors, overturn negative self-beliefs, alter rigid relational patterns, recover from trauma, and change how they think and see the world. It is, in other words, the work of teaching and learning.
It is the work of growth and development.
Of de-contorting. Of re-learning. Of re-aligning. Of attuning. Of gaining relief from dysfunction and suffering.
What does corrective emotional experience look like? Depending on the relationship, it can look like
establishing and respecting personal boundaries
setting limits and holding the line
showing up and representing your reality
listening respectfully, with genuine curiosity, to others’ reality
engaging rather than avoiding conflict
softening, stilling, falling silent
Schools are definitely places of corrective academic action. But are they places of corrective relational action? Should they be?
Yes.
For students. For teachers. For administrators. For parents.
Where growth and development are fostered, there must we undertake corrective relational action. Where responsible, healthy, happy citizens are cultivated, there must we undertake corrective relational action. Where racism and misogyny and homo- and trans-phobia and all forms of discrimination are abhorred, there must we undertake corrective relational action.
Personally? I feel as though this is
the
number
one
job
of
schools
now.
This week’s mantra: Where in my life are growth and development needed? How can I use the power of relationship to support this growth and development? In me? In someone else?
(Click on the links above to remind yourself of the ways to use relationships as engines.)