Listen, Again

In this time of protests, speaking up, and intense polarization, I am committing once again to trying to listen.

That’s this week’s mantra, then: Listen.

And because I’m thinking these days about making things actionable, here’s what I mean:

  • Find a person to listen to (in person, on-line, in a news story).

  • Still thyself.

  • Breathe deeply a few times.

  • Get comfortable.

  • Attend to the talk or text.

  • Notice when you start preparing your rejoinder in your mind.

  • Notice what that feels like.

  • Let your rejoinder go. (Editorial comment: This is really hard for me to do!!!!)

  • Notice what that feels like. (Editorial comment: It sucks!!)

  • Breathe deeply some more.

  • When the person stops talking or when the text ends, wait.

  • Breathe.

  • Wonder, “Where is this person coming from?” (Hints: Dig up assumptions. Look for the emotional bedrock.)

  • See what emerges. (Maybe the Third.)

Listening, I think, is a worthwhile meditative practice in and of itself. But it’s also crucial to understanding. Which I daresay is what we need right now. (I’m talking understanding, not agreeing. Not endorsing. But, without understanding, there’s little hope of influencing.)

(For teachers who teach or assign writing in their classes: This is related to what Peter Elbow calls playing the believing game. Check out that link to see why I chose an owl for this post’s thumbnail image.)

Betsy BurrisComment