Good-Enough

I don’t even believe in New Year’s Resolutions. I either fail at them or completely forget about them.

But

I do believe in the power of thought and intention.

So

here’s another New Year’s Experiment:

Commit to being good-enough.

“Good-enough” is a Wonderful Winnicottianism. (D.W. Winnicott is one of my heroes.) It’s a word he uses to describe parents who do what is needed to keep their children safe and to help them grow and develop. It’s a word that is meant to combat the perhaps all-too-common assumption that parents need to be perfect in order to do no harm.

I apply the term “good-enough” to teachers. (In my book, I use the term “great-enough.”)

What is a good-enough teacher? Most basically, it is

• a teacher who sets clear limits

• who honors her own and others’ boundaries (and gardens)

• and holds the line when those limits or boundaries are exceeded.

For me, good-enough teaching means setting ground rules for classroom behavior — that is, for interacting with other people and with content and assignments in open and respectful ways. Setting ground rules, for me, does NOT mean telling students how to behave but rather asking students what conditions they require for learning. Listing and consolidating those conditions. Then asking students what must happen when those conditions disappear for some reason. What gets to be said? To whom? By whom?

Discussing, in other words, what limits and boundaries make sense in a classroom for all its members. And committing to working together to honor those conditions.

Being a good-enough teacher is entwined, inseparable from, co-constructing a healthy holding environment.

Emphasis on “co-constructing.”

So here’s my hope: That lots and lots of teachers resolve to be good-enough. Recognizing that being good-enough is hard enough. And being perfect is impossible.