I'm Conflict Averse
Who in their right mind isn’t conflict averse?
I cannot tell you how often I hear people say, “I’m conflict-averse” or “They’re conflict-averse.” Conflict aversion seems to be an epidemic.
But, if you think about it, saying you’re conflict-averse is like saying, “I’m human.” It’s stating the obvious.
As if “conflict-philia” is even a thing!
No question: Conflict is hard. It’s uncomfortable.
I totally want to avoid conflict. Not just because it can be unpleasant. But also because, let’s face it, conflict requires a winner. And a loser. One up, one down. I don’t want to play that game.
But here’s my worry: By avoiding conflict, am I avoiding engagement?
Is there a way for me — and this is weird — to utilize scary moments? to listen? to gain understanding?
Is it possible that what I anticipate will be conflict is actually an opportunity for connection?
In other words, can I be in my right mind and engage and avoid conflict?